Yesterday, I went to church with my parents. I was pretty happy that day also. They went to the sanctuary while I went to the college career group. In there, the leader was talking about relationships with friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, spouses, etc. We were not created to live alone. I felt so sad afterwards. Am I going to die alone? When my parents are no longer here, then who will take care of me. I'm 21 years old (for the moment) and you probably think I can take care of myself and you're maybe right. Who will help me live a life when it's difficult for me to get a job? Well, I got sad at the end of our time together. After prayer, everyone started talking to one another and I was the only person not talking to anyone. I felt so lonely and so out of place. I got up and walked out of the room not saying goodbye to anyone. I know this whole thing might sound a little childish. I mean, I should get over this. I think into everything such as what they're thinking or doing. Most of the time I feel sad because of what I think.
My dad said that I have low self-esteem problems because I think so negatively of myself. I think that people are nice to me just because they have to be. I also think people are my friend because they want something from me, they're using me. I think that no one will like me because I'm so sad all the time, which I'm not anymore, and I think that I'm not funny.
No guy will like me because there are funny, smart, kind, gorgeous women out there, so why choose me?
I know I'm sounding a little depressed, but that's how life is for me.
Well, to end with a high note, my parents anniversary is tomorrow. 25 years they've been married. Wow!
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