Broken up

Ok I've noticed something going on for a little while.  He wouldn't invite me anywhere, he seemed like he didn't even want to see me, and he seemed very distant.  There were so many thoughts going in and out of my head.  We're not acting like bf and gf anymore.  We haven't for a long time.  When we broke up, we were inside of his car on the freeway for 3 hours.  3 hours!  There was so much traffic, and we had to take a detour.  I was kind of thinking about getting out of the car and calling a parent to come and pick me up, but I didn't of course.  I wanted to act like an adult for once.  He only told me he wanted to be friends after I told him what he's been doing.  So if I didn't tell him anything then we'd still be together?  But I would still be cut out of everything and feel isolated and lonely?  He should've just told me when he just wanted to be friends.  O well.  I really liked him and I wanted things to work, but I guess he didn't.  My first and last.  

Does he even like me?

Ok, last night he told me about the wedding he was going to attend today.  No invite.  I'm so tired of waiting for him to invite me anywhere, which he obviously doesn't want to do.  He makes it sound like he wants me to go, but then he crumples it.  He is ashamed of me.  He lives 2 lives, his dance side and his church side.  He invited me to his church and I know a few people there, but then with his dance side I know nothing about.  I want to.  He hasn't even invited me over to his house.  Oh and he has a new house which he has a roommate which is his friend.  He says that I should come over sometime.  You know what that means.  He's never going to invite me over.  I just feel so lonely.  All the time now.  Are you supposed to feel like this?

The big D (depressed)

Ok, I thought if or when I had a boyfriend I would feel a lot differently (in a good way).  Ever since my graduation (5/23) I have been depressed and it is 6/6.  I feel that my life is worth absolutely nothing.  My life is going nowhere.  I look at Nasrin and she just got her Bachelor's Degree, and she's going for her Master's and then her Doctorate.  Wow!  And she has her entire family pushing her to be her best.  What do I have?  Parents who don't push me at all.  I want to feel needed.  To feel wanted.  I know, I shouldn't compare.  My mom compares so much, so guess who I got that from?